Only He knows.

I've been meditating a lot.  Most people that know me, typically see the outgoing, happy, smiling woman.  But there have been some events that have occurred in my life recently that have changed my perspective and my outlook.  This happens to me every season.  And now I am locked inside my head at the moment.  Before, I would make myself crazy, analyzing and trying to see what I did wrong to make a situation happen.  But now Christ is in me.  I am talking to Him now.  And every time I speak to Him, He listens, and He talks back.

That's why I am a Christian.  The relationship.  The dialogue.  And I never have to worry about how my hair looks, or if I have a manicure, or even if I say the right things.  He knows me.  He knows my intentions.  He knows parts of me that I don't even know, parts that he is slowly allowing me to decipher.

I am praying for Him to give me the courage to speak out my joy for our relationship.  I am still timid and treading in shallow waters with speaking out.  Give me a voice, Jesus.

Today I am inspired by Psalm 42:6-11 (NIV)

6 My soul is downcast within me;  therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar. 7 Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers  have swept over me. 8 By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me—  a prayer to the God of my life. 9 I say to God my Rock,  “Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?” 10 My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long,  “Where is your God?” 11 Why, my soul, are you downcast?  Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

Eternally grateful for the gift God has given me,

Ashley